Guardian Angel Yeah right
by Cre A. Tor00x
Summary: Kami decided to let Naruto into heaven by having one of her best to get him to take his one life. . .too bad the angel was the number one prankster in the afterlife and had plans for the little kid. Naruto and HAREM!
1. Chapter 1

Another day, another new fanfic

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Kami decided to let Naruto into heaven by having one of her best to get him to take his one life. . .too bad the angel was the number one prankster in the afterlife and had plans for the little kid. Naruto and HAREM!!!

Don't own Naruto

"Talking"

'thinking'

_**Making an Uber point**_

"**Demon Speech"**

'_**demon thought'**_

Jutsu of mortals

**Jutsu of Demons and Angels**

'_**demon mind link with container'

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**_

Guardian Angel . . . Yeah Right

**Chapter One: One Tricky Angel**

**Point of view from a winged creature**

Heaven, Eden, Far-plane, Valhalla, and the soul society were just a few of the names this place is called so we'll call it the 'light-plane'. Now it isn't high above the clouds or anything like that, it's not some field of flowers with balls of lights floating around, nor is it some ancient form of Japan. Nope this place is in the center of ever dimension that the big gal ever created, it was made to look more like a very large village; houses and trees everywhere, no pollution causing machines, hell the only way you could tell this place was…whatever your religion wants to call it, were that everyone had some type of bird or holy reptile, and certain insects wings. Size, shape all vary when it came to who you were and how you lived your mortal life. Now color of them is a whole different story, the more good you do in your 'after' life, the whiter they are till full blown 'hurts to look at white' and when that happens you are literally allowed to go back to have a second chance at life. But, do bad and they turn darker and darker till pure black. . . then you go downstairs.

Now it's not a real bad place, just another version heaven except ranking is what creature you are; see when you go down the 'dark-plane' you become a creature and lose your wings. . . Unless you're like a bird or dragon or whatever. Summoning beasts are the highest, lowest rank is a demon which is a class in itself and is the highest there actually; makes it kind of confusing in the long run. But everyone is still cool with each other and are allowed up here to visits, heck I have a couple of demons as friends. Again the same rule applies down their for good deeds, except you just become a winged human again; but demon level is as low as it goes.

Course, I don't want to end up down there, but I don't want to go back to earth for another life, I had a good life and lived it to the fullest; besides it's fun to prank the shit out of everyone here, hence why I have light ash colored 'completely generic' angel wings that are about the size of me when folded. . .and that's big since I'm like six foot three. Oh I bet you're wondering who I am, well I am know as Ender, it's not my previous life's name, but that's a different story. And right now I'm pissed cause the big gal wants me and most of the high class 'angels' for something and one of my closest friends, who is a demon, has been missing for four years after she and the other kyu no Biju were somehow summoned into the mortal plane.

**Back to the third point of view**

Ender sighed as he walked down the dirt road, waving as he passed by a couple of girls with butterfly wings, whom giggled and waved back. Though he is the higher plane's biggest prankster, he was also one of the most kind and gentle soul in the place. . .plus being number two in the 'most eligible bachelor' list had its ups. The 'Most trickiest angel', as the magazines called him ((which he lived up to)), kept his short hair in a blue mess since he didn't comb it . . .cause it just wouldn't stay down. His gray eyes just held love and mischief in them and his smile on his baby fatless face just sent a blush through most of the teenage girls that saw. . .while just ticking off every single male since he knew it irked them when he got their girlfriend's attention. Being a prankster his body was built for speed with some above average strength; which gave him a nice six pack but no bulging mussels. Course you couldn't see it through loose red T-shirt and blue faded jeans so baggy, they were fives sizes too big for him; which also covered parts of his tan color cross-country training shoes ((great for all purpose shoes like work shoes, running, basket ball you name it; it's good for it)). So in a nut shell, Ender was the kind of person that all the teenage girls loved, pranksters look up to, and everyone else just tolerate or hold no bad thoughts about him.

Today Kei, more commonly known as Kami in Japan, wanted all the top angles in her office today. . . And it pissed off the number one prankster who was enjoying a nice nap after newest prank. . .switching all the signs of the hot springs of the male and female sides. '_Oh that fun hearing all the screams, some from the cause of pain_' he thought to himself as he chuckled as he walked into the large and beautifully made tower. The whole thing was made out of mother of pearl and was a spiral, so it was either walk up the stairs or fly into the room and floor you wanted, so he spread his ash colored wings and took off straight to the top of the pearl building. "What could be so important about this meeting to have Kei-chan call up the best ones?" the jokester asked to no one as he flew up higher and higher till he finally reach the top, itself the most beautiful place in the entire afterlife.

Every time Ender comes up here he smiles as he feels at peace. At the very top stood four large statues of angelic women, their pearl wings catching the sun's light making them glow making the spread wings more angelic, each one it a different elegant pose that just took the prank angel's breathe away every time. In center was open room of Kei, he smiled and nose dived down and at the last second readjusts and lands perfectly on his feet, "Hey, am I late?" the brunette asked with a grin to the lady standing in the center. He smiled as he looked upon the face that created the universes. Her long green hair in a ponytail that dragged along the ground just as her light pink and white gown did, her blue eyes so deep that they were like oceans. Her body was built like every straight man's dream, her body proportioned just right in an hour glass-figure. "I heard you wanted the best ones, so why call me?" he joked at his own expense which got a chuckle from the other eight 'angels', however the Kami just frowned, and it scared the jokester to no end on how much sadness were held in her eyes. '_this it's good, usually I get at least a giggle from Kei-chan_' Ender thought as he his mood suddenly became serious. . .which caused the others to stop chuckling and giggling, and got serious as well. Everyone knew that when Ender got serious, something big was happening. He had another side to him, a warrior side. The gray eyed winged man was a master of the tenshi jutsu, and his sword skills were no laughing matter either. "What's going down Kei-sama?" his tone changed from playful to dead calm.

Said goddess sighed as she closed her eyes, not wanting to say what she believe is the right choice. "I want one of you to go to the mortal plane…and retrieve and escort the soul of the container of the Kyuubi here." she said in a solemn tone. Immediately there was an up roar with the angels in her present; they knew what she meant. To lead a person to kill themselves and take their soul here. Usually when one kills themselves they go to the dark plain for a few thousand years, containers come straight to the light plain despite how they lived.

"How old is the container?" one female with large monarch wings asked, everyone was afraid of the answer for the question.

". . .four." Kei said silently, everyone was dead quiet. "His name is Uzumaki Naruto, I need one of you to go the Hidden Village in the Leaf. In that short amount of time. . .he has already been through far worse things that even hell has."

Ender turned to one male with pure white dove wings, "Haven't we've been there before Mandru." said person nodded as he looked into his friend/rival's gray eyes with his solid pearl color eyes. Mandru was a close friend to the prankster, his black hair going down to his shoulders gave him a girly look, which made him the top bachelor on the list mentioned earlier. Then an idea popped into the joking angel's mind which made him putt on his mischief smirk on his face '_heh heh, oh yeah. Best. Idea. Ever._' "I'll do it." the brown haired dude said with a straight face. The Kami nodded and turned to the side; with a wave of her hand a bright blue portal opened up and Ender simply walked through. . .but not before showing the group his grin which lead them to believe he had something else in mind.

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Ender yawned and stretched out his arms and wings as he walked the crowed night street of Kohona and walked through several pedestrians and ninjas, sending chills up their spines. Angels and demons, when in the mortal plane were invisible and unable to be held or touched by every living thing unless they have an earthly chakra or earthly spiritual energy to create a corporeal body. But in the state that h was in now he could influence peoples decisions to some extent and/or make them feel like someone just walked over their grave by passing parts of his bodies through them. Right now he was plain pissed…no scratch that, he was **_extremely_** pissed off at the people that he had passed through to learn exactly how bad the poor kid was treated. The poor soul was already living a lone and given a beating everyday if he wasn't careful '_This plan is just getting better and better_' he thought with malice as he finally reached the 'demon's den' he glanced over the dump of an apartment building and just looked even more pissed "Time to get to work." he said as he opened up his ash colored wings and with one flap, reach the designated window of Naruto's 'home'.

In the run down apartment, a little blonde haired boy was huddled one of the far corners in his home. The wallpaper was torn with messages written on them about how he was a demon and should be dead. None of his furniture was left unusable at all and all the windows broken. . .just another birthday for him. And like every year, he cried out his little eyes as he tried to figure out what he did to deserve such hate. "You did nothing wrong, it's those a- ..umm…jacka-…no…pooh-pooh heads of villagers who are the demons." A voice spoke. The blue eyed boy grew scared and frantically looked to see who was talking, only to see no one. . .but Ender saw him all to well and it just broke his anger limits. The kid was suffering from malnutrition at such a level the angel would have thrown up the launch he had. . .which he did. His clothes were filthy and torn to an extant that they were just ribbons. His blonde hair matted with filth and dried blood, but his face. . .Ender went into tears for the first time in a hundred years in anger and sadness. The blue deep blue eye's of the child were dead and held no hope at all. And his cheeks…The angel knew that three whisker marks on each cheek were scars made by a special ink that could never be remove, just like birthmarks. "Don't worry, I'm a friend." The brunette manage to croak out as he started to pull some of the kids chakra to make himself visible. What Naruto whispered out would stay with Ender for eternity.

"p-please, I-I'm s-sorry. I-I-I didn't mean t-t-to do w-w-whatever I did." the child whisper out as he tried to move further back when he saw a person phase into sight in the middle of his apartment. He closed his eyes and waited for the beating to begin. . . But it never came. Instead he felt something warm wrap itself around and held him off the ground. He opened his eyes to find himself in the arms of the man. . .he was hugging him.

"No, you are the victim here Naruto, I promise. . No SWEAR to you that you're never going to be alone anymore." Ender said soothingly to the poor child as he felt himself cry. After the words finally sunk in the boy, he cried into the man's chest as he let out all the pent up emotions he had. After a good fifteen minutes the crying stop and the angel set the child down and smiled down at him. Then it finally hit Naruto.

"Hey. . .why do you have wings?" the curious child ask, earning a chuckle from Ender as he ruffled his hair and bent down to his eye level.

"Simple, I'm what you might call an angel, and the Kami gave me a mission personally that dealt with you." he said, it shocked the boy that god himself had someone come to him. "You see. . .you're a very special boy, you hold in your belly," he stated as he pointed to Naruto's little stomach, "A demon friend of mine. Her name is Kyuubi." At this the little boy went wide eyed as he finally figured out why he was hated. "You are _NOT_ her Naruto!" The angel shouted, as if knowing what he was thinking. "The Fourth had to seal her. Someone summoned her into your plain and I guess screwed up since I know she wouldn't go on a rampage like that." The little boy gave him a curious look, and again it was like Ender read his mind "The afterlife is nothing like you've learned it is." and with that went on explaining about how the afterlife worked. ((too damn lazy to rewrite all that)). "Now then the reason why I'm here '_time to put the plan into action_' is to give you a choice."

"A…choice?" a short blonde asked, a little bit nervous since it could be a trick just like the other times.

"Yes, now since you are a container, your place in the light plain is set in stone, no matter deeds you do, you'd go straight there. Kei-chan however, was deeply sadden by the way such a young child was treated. . .so she wanted the best to come and convince you take your life," the little boy gasped and started to shake in fear, "but that's the easy way out. I'm giving you a second option. . .does anyone in this place care about you?"

Naruto thought for a minute, "um…the old man with the funny hat comes to check on me, they call him…ummm toekage and everyone seems to like him, so I want to be then next toekage! Then everyone would like me." he finished the life in his eyes back a bit. Ender laughed at how the kid called hokage 'tokage'.

"It's (snickers) hokage kid, okay then here's my deal. I'll help you reach your dream Naruto." he said as he smiled at the kid who was in awe. "I'll be your guardian angel and sensei, and soon you just won't be hokage, but the best one there is!" he finished pump his fist in the air. He smiled as he saw the boy's eyes holding joy and hope. He then held out his hand, "All you have to do, is shake my hand; and I'll show you the path to hokage. But know this, it will be a hard and long journey to reach it. You'll have the world against you. But if you get pass that, you'll make it." he finished with smile as he watched what the boy would do next.

Naruto thought about what his new friend just told him. He could either kill himself and live happily in the next life, or he could shakes his hand and travel the hard path to becoming hokage and show them all that he could do it, and that he wasn't the demon that was sealed in him. He looked at the angel, determination and strength held in them and quickly shook the man's hand, "Let's do it." he said in a voice that showed no regret in his choice.

The gray eyed angel grinned and tightened his grip on the boy's hand "Hold on tight, this will hurt a bit." was the only warning he gave as Naruto ground his teeth in pain to keep from screaming. It felt like his body was being set on fire and electrocuted at the same time, a white aura appeared around the two and slowly expand. As soon as all this happened, it stopped and the Uzumaki tore away his hand and looked at the palm, and found a mark on it in the form of a black kanji for guarded. He looked at his new angel friend who dispelled the chakra he took and disappeared, except for the blonde who saw him in a translucent state. "The mark shows that you have a guardian angel. It allows you to see me and the mark on your hand when I'm in this state and only you can hear me as well, so I suggest you don't talk to me too much unless you want to be locked up," he then grinned, "and I also gave you a bloodline and a bloodline limit." he chuckled at the shocked look in his new watch had on his face.

"H-h-how did you do that?!!" The blue eyed kid stuttered out which just made the angel laugh.

"Well how do you think bloodlines and blood limits came to be, they are gifts from angels or demons. Or the result of a child born by the union of human with an angel or demon. You have two examples right here in your home. But anyways I'll give you the download on your newest upgrade. Your bloodline will allow you to see chakra every person and living thing gives off; I'll train you how to tell one chakra from another later. Next I put a little of my tenshi chakra, your body will soon take that small amount and learn how to make it itself and in a few years you'll be the only person to be able to do tenshi jutsu. Now your limit I am proud to say is my best work since the prank I pulled just a few hours ago, oh and I will teach you to do pranks (wink) gotta get back the villages some how right?" he grinned as Naruto laughed so hard he fell on his back kicking his legs in the air, "and if you pull of a great prank, each time I'll teach you a powerful tenshi jutsu. But back to your limit, most bloodline and limits focus on one area of the body. Not mine (grins) I have it work with your whole body when activated, first your eyes will make everything slow down to you, the high your control and chakra level, the slower they seem. Next your body will be able the high speed you will create when you enter the state along with being able to put a hole through a wall will a punch with no force. And finally and my most favorite part is that you're grant angel perks, meaning flight and raw chakra beams. Plus if you push your chakra into the mark on your hand it'll allow me to become solid from where ever I'm at, but it'll also make the mark visible to everyone so I suggest you get a glove for your hand. It'll be kind of like a summoning contract with me and I'll follow your commands until you pull the chakra back to yourself." at this point held to keep himself from somehow dieing from laughing as he saw the boy's jaw on the ground and let loose the fart he was holding in. "But it won't activate anytime soon. But now it's time to talk about how my job will work."

Shaking the shock off Naruto looked at his newest, bestest, and only friend he had, "what do you mean, you train and protect me." he said like it was the most common thing in the world.

"Sorry but it's not that clear cut, never is. Since you're going to be a ninja I'll only be able to protect when you're not on a mission when you don't summon me. And even then I wouldn't be able to go full out unless I want to lose my wings. As a ninja you'll put your life on the line when taking on a mission. However when you're not on one I will protect you from any attack that is thrown at you. Your limit has it's draw back as well; you can only keep up that form for 10 minutes at a time before you have to 'recharge' for about two hours. Do you understand?" his tone a bit serious due to the fact that there were other reasons why he gave the kid so much power, but Naruto didn't have to learn why. After he received a nod he smiled. "Good, and for the final rules. One, You must never show or tell anyone of your bloodline and blood limit. Two, you are to fail the academy twice before finally passing it, but at the bottom of the class; that way you'll have the edge. And Finally, you'll need to get a harem."

"What's a harem?" the innocent child asked putting a finger in his mouth ((A/N: SO CUTE))

"Something you'll learn about when you're a bit older, now then." He looked around and saw that the only thing usable to sleep on was the couch which seemed to only lost its legs. "Time for the next hokage to get some sleep, tomorrow we go to the old fart and talk about getting you some money and a new, more secret place to live." he said as he smiled when he saw the boy nod as he yawn and made his way to the couch, and soon enough was happily dreaming. '_Rest Naruto, I'll watch over you and protect you. You're no longer alone. In fact, you'll have the whole light plain on your side when I'm done_.' the angel thought as he sat on the ground in front of couch, starting his guard duty on the child that would be hokage.

Back in the light plain, Kei-chan and the rest of the great nine were smiling and the Kami simply summed up what she and the rest of the group was thinking after seeing what Ender had done, "That trickster planned this from the very start."

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Read and review 


	2. Chapter 2

First of all I do not own the move that will be used in this chapter: the Bloodline Ender that is owned by G1Park in his fan fiction :** Idiotic Reasons**. Read it and laugh or I will tie you to a chair and force you to listen to Excel talking about ACROSS!!

Don't own Naruto

"Talking"

'_thinking_'

_**Making an Uber point**_

"**Demon Speech"**

'_**demon thought'**_

Jutsu of mortals

**Jutsu of Demons and Angels**

'_**demon mind link with container'

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**_

Guardian Angel . . . Far from It

**Chapter Two: Training and Secrets Found Out**

Ender let out a yawn as he stretched out his arms and lay backed to look up at the stars, '_I forgot how beautiful the starts look from down here, up there you can tell they're other universes. But down here,_' the angel let out a sigh, '_all they look like are tiny specks of lights. Yeah, the material plain isn't so bad_' he let a smile grace his face as he phased his head through the roof to check on his young charge, who was still sleeping peacefully. A bit of drool was hanging from the child's mouth which made the angel chuckled before he took his out of the ceiling, and then scream at the sight of his best friend standing in front of him, "SHIT MAN!!! Don't DO that!" the grayed wing angel shouted as he place his hand over his heart trying to make it slow down as he glared at Mandru who had a smug smile on his face.

"I was just checking on an old friend, Lady Kei was surprise at your action yet glad you came up with a solution instead of hers, yet we all want to know why the bloodline and limit you gave him?" the pearl eyed angel asked as he sat next his friend. Ender sighed and ran a hand through his blue hair, a depress look on his face. "What's going on?" the long. Blacked hair friend asked, a feeling in his gut screaming at him that he wasn't going to like the answer as he sat next to him.

"Well you know that this village has those eyes and girly looks that you gave to that dude," Mandru nodded, "and you know they became so stuck up they don't marry outside the family, thinking it would 'weaken' their bloodline," Ender scoffed, "idiots."

"I know, humans don't realize that no matter how many times their children are born outside the family, the gift will be still as potent as the original one given out, in some cases stronger." The number one angel bachelor stated. "But I doubt that's why you're so down."

"Well there is another clan," Ender said as he reached into one of his pockets and pulled out his favorite brand of cancer sticks and popped on into his mouth and rummage for his lighter, "it's the Sharingan. Tell me, do you remember what they do?"

"Well that's basic stuff. The Sharingan eyes have the ability to copy human justu, along with increase speed and the ability to know what the enemy will do next to a certain extant. There are three levels to the eyes, the number of black tomas in the eye represents the level the user is at; the level is gain when both eyes have the same number of toma in them. Along with the appearance of the tomas the eyes turn a shade of yellow just like the demon cats of the Tukna clan." The Hyuga bloodline creator said.

"Well these eyes are red, which means…" The gray winged angel let the sentence hang there as he found his lighter and lit his cigarette and watched as his friend's eyes go wide, his mouth drop, and starting to sweat as he put two and two together

"n-n-n-n-no way, I-I-I-it's not possible, it would only mean…" Mandru stuttered out.

"That Reina, the one Tukna with the _four_ leveled and _red_ Sharingan is still out and about." The prankster angel finished for his friend as he took a drag from his smoke. "I saw the clans eyes, they were red. And they are inbreeding as well."

"Shit." was the single word that passed through the non-smoking ones mouth as he clenched his fists, it's bad enough they had eyes of a great threat to all the plains, but to also inbreed just made it worst. "So that's why you gave him such a bloodline and limit, if a human was ever to reach the fourth level of cursed copy eye…"

"They would lose themselves to it and become a demon in ever sense of the word in a human shell. And the interbreeding makes them that more arrogant and boarder-line insanity, making them just that more adept to pulling it off." Ender finished as he absentmindedly rubbing the left side of his chest. He remembered the last encounter with the certain demon all to well.

Seeing his friend touching his phantom pain the white winged angel sighed, "It's _still_ not your fault Ender. It's been nearly 95 years." Mandru stated for the hundredth time…this week.

Ender just scoffed, "Let's see how you handle dumping a demon and then the day _after_ she attacks the light plain looking for you, and then stab you in your lung." he commented, that was the day he picked up smoking; bad for humans, but healing sticks for angels and demons alike, funny how the ingredients can only be grown and made on the material plain.

"We've all broken up with demons every so often. You just got one that was a _teeny_ bit obsessive over you." Mandru said and then grinned when he saw his best friend glare at him with a twitching eyebrow. "Okay so maybe it a bit of a big obsession."

"She destroyed nearly a _quarter_ of the plane just to find me. I think that classifies as being extremely neurotic over me." The gray eyed one growled out and took another drag from his cig.

"Well it's in the past, the damage was repaired and no one was that badly injured, just get passed it already."

"Whatever." Ender quietly said as he looked up at the sky once again.

"Fine fine, look Lady Kei wanted me to tell you that she supports your actions, and allowing complete G.A.A.A. rights (Guardian Angel Allowed Actions)." Mandru said as he stood up, then look at the night sky, "Beautiful, isn't it?"

The gray winged angel nodded, "Yeah, I was thinking the same thing not too long ago." he said as he stood up and held out his hand, smiling. "Take care of yourself up there, and make sure things don't get _too_ dull up there while I'm here."

The white winged one chuckled and firmly shook his best buddy's hand, "You too my friend, make sure you raise him well."

"Oh relax, he'll love doing pranks, and if he pulls off a great one I'll teach him a powerful Tenshi jutsu." He said chuckling, while his friend laughed hard.

"Just remember who's sealed with in him, you just might regret making that promise to him," the black haired man said as he smiled, "do you still care about her?"

"tsh, of course she's my closet and greatest true friend second to only you Mandru." Ender said, holding back a blush as best he could.

"I meant as more than a friend." Mandru grinned as the blush finally became visible.

"I…uh…" the smoker stuttered out, till he sighed, "yeah. . . I do." he suddenly found the ground very interesting.

"Then why did you go through with this plan instead of leading him to 'heaven'?" Mandru asked as he raised an eyebrow.

The joker sighed as he looked down to his right to see a white butterfly, "I wouldn't be able to face her if I did. She always did love little kids, and to kill one for her… would only make her cry. She'd want me to help the help kid anyway I could, I just know it." He then looks back towards his friend, sadness in his eyes.

His friend smiled softly and place a hand on his buddy's shoulder, "Don't worry, we're starting to look for a way to get her out and not kill Naruto in the process." he spoke in a comforting tone that allowed Ender to smile and nod. "Now if you excuse me, I'm going to have a little _chat _with the clan I helped about being humble and not stuck up. Then I'm off to that pocket universe close to here for a mission, seems that there's been another population explosion of tainted souls." he grinned evilly as he spread his wings and took off towards the Hyuga stronghold; leaving his friend grinning knowing the clan head was about to have a scare of his life.

"They don't call him, the Angel of Fear for nothing." Ender mused to himself, course he would never tell anyone what he saw his friend do on day about a year ago, he begged the Kami to spare a woman's life. He never thought he would see the day where the angel with so much pride, grovel to anyone; he still hadn't found out why he did so but had his hunches. He passed through the roof and landed gently next to a sleeping Naruto, drooling and mumbling about ramen and chuckle and continue to watch him dream till mourning.

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"Aw, look at him," Ender commented as he smiled down at he looked at the peacefully sleeping form of Naruto, a content smile on the boy's face, "it would be shameful, wrong, and down right cruel to wake him up in any shape or form." he finished acting all dramatic with a hand over his heart, one behind his back, and his head turned to the upper left and eyes closed. Then he pulled out an air horn from behind his back, covered one of his ears, placed the horn right next to the blonde's ear and pressed down.

_**HHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!**_

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" The child scream as he shot out from the couch and crash into the ceiling head first and then crashed down butt first on couch and shattered it into pieces. If the swirls that replaced his eyes was evidence enough that he was out cold, the bump the size of his head on top of his head was more than enough proof. At this the blue haired angel was holding his knees to keep from falling down as he laughed so hard that his face was redder than tomato.

"Too (snickers) bad I'm (chuckles) all of THE ABOVE HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!" Ender manage to say before entering another laughing fit at the expense of his charge. Yes, Ender would still and always will be the number one prankster on the light-plain and he will keep it by pulling pranks anyway he can in material plain. He wiped away a tear from his face as he finally calmed down and gently shook the little adolescent awake after he took the chakra from yet another plant.

The young blonde groaned as he opened up his eyes to see the grinning face of his new friend and protector. He grumbled about stupid prankster and his sense of humor as he rubbed the bump on his head. "WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR?!!!" Naruto screamed as he jumped from the remains of his couch, "YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?!!"

The angel just smirked more, "Just giving you your first lesson, always be ready for anything at anytime, anywhere. It'll save your life to remember that little buddy." he said calmly as he phased back into his pervious form. "Now go wash up, we're seeing an old man about getting you a new place."

"How?" The little guy asked as he stood up, wondering how Ender was going to accomplish the feat, he had tried a few times but met with failure each time, all he got was more furniture to replace the broken stuff.

"I have a few tricks I could try." The angel answered cryptically as he nodded his head towards the bathroom in which Naruto went in said direction. '_Now the only question is which __**one**__ I should use to get the old fart to cave in._' Ender thought as he rubbed his chin, thinking of which one of his schemes he used use to get a new home for the little guy. By the time the blonde wonder got out of the bathroom he froze and hid behind the busted couch when he caught a glimpse of the smile on the angel's face.

* * *

For once in his hellish life, Naruto felt at ease as he walked down the road towards the tower. For once he never felt any kind of stone or bottle or whatever hit his flesh, it was a good change. Course all this was thanks to his guardian angel who was walking right behind him. It was thanks to Ender for somehow deflecting all the thrown objects without removing his hands from his pockets. This was all thanks to the G.A.A.A. rights used to its highest level, that meant that he was free to what ever means to keep his charge safe. He was given the power to set a up the strongest barrier Tenshi-jutsu in his arsenal to protect the boy, while not giving away his existent. Course he was still pissed how many people were actually openly attacking the kid in broad daylight. Finally they reached Hokage Tower, course compared to the one 'up stairs', the angel was not impressed. "Well, lets see if we can't get you a new place to live." Ender said as he gave the kid a thumbs up and a smile.

Ender and Naruto walked out of the building, said angel's jaw was dragging behind him as he was still in shock that the best he could get the kid was more furniture. "Not even the chibi-jutsu (1) worked on the old man, EVEN KAMI HERSELF CAN'T HOLD UP AGAINST THAT!! I SHOULD KNOW! I MADE IT!!" he ranted as he cried tears that would make Gai proud. His best technique he invented to get out of major trouble . . .was useless to a mere old man; mind you a very powerful one, but an old man none the less. Basically, his pride had been shot to hell as mortals would put it.

"Told you it would happen." the blonde mumbled out so as not to bring too much attention to himself.

"Well I guess we'll just have to start your training then." The angel sighed out as walked ahead, and then stopped. "Um…where are the training fields?" he asked out loud while rubbing the back of his neck. This of course caused the little container to fall to the ground.

"HOW THE HECK SHOULD I KNOW?!!" Naruto shouted out.

* * *

**Thirty minutes later in the middle of the woods**

"Okay, I'll guess this will have to do for now." Ender said as he looked over the area to make sure they were alone. Once he was sure he turned to face the little kid, "Okay Naruto, just focus all of your attention on the seal on your palm." he ordered in a teacher kind of way. '_I guess teaching last years cadets paid off after all_'

With a nod the 'monster of Kohona' looked down at his palm and focused everything on it. Soon small sweat beads formed on his brow but very slowly, the black kanji started to appear slowly as Ender at the same time looked more and more solid. Finally both the 'contract' and angel were fully visible while Naruto fell on his butt and panted heavily, exhausted from the task. "Wow, that was hard." he manage to say between his heavy breathing.

"Well that's because you had your first lesson." Ender said which made the little child throw him a questioning look. Grinning he enter his 'lecture mode' to further explain what he stated, "You see you just molded your chakra for the first time. You see chakra is the mix of two energies, physical and spiritual energy. Physical energy is made from your body and can be increased by strengthening the body. Spiritual energy is created from training and experience. Now then, when the two energies are combined they create chakra. Why I had you do was focus on the kanji was to let your body get used to mold properly to use the seal, course with a few more sessions it'll be like second nature. You're tired since this was the first time you molded your chakra, but with more training you won't that problem as soon as you grow older. Any question my young padawan (2)?" The prankster asked his student, who's hand shot up.

"What's a padawan?"

"I'll explain it later," the angel waved off the question, "now then, second lesson for the day. Basic chakra control." With that Ender reached out to one of his wings, and with a hiss of pain pulled out a feather that was closet to the joint that attached the wing to his back where the feathers were the smallest. "Okay Naruto, this is the most basic control exercise in the light-plain. You are to take this feather and place it on the back of your hand. Then you are to slowly push chakra out of your hand till the feather is hovering a few inches." Deciding it would be better to show the soon-to-be-ninja how its done, he placed the gray feather on the back of one of his hands and slowly the feather started to float over his hand, then higher, and higher, and higher till it was over his head. Then after a minute the feather floated lower, and lower, and lower till it landed back on the back of his hand. The look on Naruto's face was priceless, his eyes were the size of dinner plates. "Well then," The brown haired angel started as he set the feather on the back of Naruto's hand, "lets get started."

The gray winged angel couldn't help but smile at the sight in front of him. It had been several hours since Naruto stated the feather drill; for a good part of the exercise he blew the feather into the tree line, didn't have enough chakra and the wind took it (by this time Ender was glad Angel feathers can be called back into the angel's hand), or the feather just lay on the back of his hand. But not once did the blonde kid give up, now here was Ender watching as the little hyper boy dance around for completing the chakra control exercise at last. In the distant he could here the sounds of some sort of celebration, Naruto said it was about some peace treaty with an enemy village finally being agreed on. With a chuckle he got off the rock he was sitting on and moved towards the kid who finished the lesson sooner than he thought he would, "Okay Naruto, front and center!" the angel mocked order and in reply the little kid stood up straight in front of him. "For not only completing the exercise I gave, and getting it faster than anyone I know, I'm going to teach the most basic of Tenshi taijutsu moves." He said as he grinned at the child's reaction, which was his eyes turning into stars. "Now then, before I teach you this move you are to swear never to revile how it is done."

"I promise. And I swear that just like you I'll keep my word." Naruto said as he pumped his fist. Ender couldn't help but smile gently and feel pride and warm that the kid wanting be like him in some ways.

"Good. Now then, the move I'm going to teach you is simply called **feint strike**." Ender moved towards one of the tress that looked to be about 12 inches thick. He then entered a stance that had his left leg in front with all his weight put of it, and his dominate leg bent while on the balls of his foot (means that only his toes and the front pads of his feet were on the ground); his upper body was turned so that the left side of his body was facing the tree. His left arm was shoulder level and his elbow bent at a ninety degree angle as his right hand was bent back with his fist turned so that the fingers were facing up. What Naruto saw next left him in awe, his sensei dashed at the tree and suddenly he say two torsos on his sensei, one punching high the other hitting lower. But the higher one was transparent and unlike the lower one, where the fist struck left no damage to the tree. Then the upper torso vanished as his sensei stood up straight and waited for the blonde kid to ask the question that he knew was coming.

"What was that?!!" The scourge of the village shouted out. What he saw just freaked him out and yet also made him excited cause he'll be learning how to do it.

"That, was the **feint strike**, unlike regular taijutsu moves that require speed or massive power or a large amount of chakra, **feint strike**just uses the barest amount of chakra to pull off. The first step is to lightly spread the chakra around and in your body; it'll feel like a warm blanket is covering you. Then all you do is think about two attacks you want to do, and do the second one while your "shadow" does the first attack. Easy right?" Ender said before starting to worry when he say smoke coming out of his student's ears. "Um, why don't you start training now."

**About 1:00 am**

"No, no, no Naruto, you have to use your second choice not the first one." The Ender groaned as he covered his face. It's been several hours since he first showed him the**feint strike**, and the kid just couldn't seem to grasp the concept of thinking one thing and doing another. No matter how many times he tried the kid never got it, but it never stopped Naruto from trying till he got it. '_I got to hand this much to the kid, he doesn't give up_' he thought as he smiled slightly at the boy.

Naruto was tired, he was sweaty, his hands hurt and were cut; but he had to push on. '_I'm not going to disappoint Ender-sensei I_' the container thought as he tried again and failed '_will_' again he strikes the tree, yet nothing happen, '_not_' Ender noticed something odd, the blonde seem to have like an outline around him; as he breathed the out line soon followed the movement '_GIVE UP!_' he punched the tree and the angel smiled as he saw a 'second' Naruto bent down with a swipe kick to the tree, and soon the one that through the punch faded away; the kid did it.

The prankster angel slowly clapped his hand as his body started to fade out of being solid "Excellent Naruto! Bravo, bravo!" he complemented which caused the boy to blush and rub the back of his neck and give Ender his soon to be famous foxy grin '_With a lethal smile like that in his arsenal, finding girls won't be a problem.' _"Getting the **feint strike **in half a day. I never thought I see the day a human would beat an angel getting move down…or at least start it. Now I think it's time to head back, it's way past your bed time."

The little kid yawn and rubbed his eye like the chibi he is which was just way too cute and it took all of the angel's strength and spirit energy not scream and hug the little kid to death. "Alright then." the little boy yawned out as the two made their way to the road, which was right next to the Hyuga complex. Little did the two know what was going on at the complex.

* * *

He couldn't believe how easy this mission was, he couldn't help but let out a cackle at the fact he did something in one night that his whole village couldn't do in years. He shifted the heiress on his shoulder as he jumped over the wall, still not being noticed by the guards on duty. Muffled cries came from the tied up child, only to go unheard except for her captor. "Be quiet, can't have those eyes of yours out of my hands. Once we get back to Cloud you'll be used to 'populate' our village with those eyes." The ninja whispered out, causing the little girl to cry as her eyes went wide when she learned of her fate; too bad for the shinobi he spoke too loud and caught the ears of a child existing the forest.

"We've got to do something Ender!" Naruto whispered out, not knowing what to do.

It didn't take long for the invisible angel to come up with the best plan possible. . .though it would betray his fellow males for allowing this, but there wasn't a lot of time. "Okay Naruto, time to teach you the deadliest move you can do to a guy."

He was almost out of the of the Hyuga area, then it's just over the wall of the village and he was home free. "LET HER GO YOU A-HOLE!" someone screamed as he felt something hit him in the back of his head, making him loose his balance and drop the 'package'. He turned to see a little blonde kid charge him, grinning at the stupidity of the child as he got ready to kill the kid. The child threw a punch at his mid section in which he tried to grab, note the word 'tried to'. his hand went right through the fist and before he could register what happened he felt the worse pain he ever felt in his life coming from right between his legs. Naruto had used the **feint strike**and kicked the masked ninja right where it hurt the most for all men, the balls. Once shinobi enter the traditional 'fetal position' (A/N: when you kick a guy in the balls, they fall foreword with their knees bent while still having their hands over the area and face plant into the dirt. To fall back would only hurt them even worse than they already are. And due to the fact that if their body can't shut down in order to keep their ability to have kids; we have to feel that pain for several minutes and then we are sore for the rest of the day along with not able to walk right in order to keep from hurting even worse.) the whiskered child went in for the kill and grabbed the guy by the shoulders and pulled him so that his back was leaning backwards and his face towards the sky "BLOODLINE ENDER!" Naruto shouted out as he completed the move. . .Ender was throwing up invisible puke in the bushes. The man was in the worse pain in _any man's life!_ All he wanted now was for a quick death since he knew both of his balls had popped.

"May all men forgive me for what I have done this day." The prank angel said as he said a small prayer for the poor soul his student had just beaten. He was glad he made him promise NEVER to use that move again, a chakra enforced hit to the balls hurts like hell, then bending them backwards was just cruel. . .sadly many of his fellow men had met this technique when they were not fast enough to escape the wrath of the women they were peeking on. Course his student wasn't listening as he was too busy trying to untie the poor girl from the ropes that bound her.

Finally, Naruto had enough and started to bite on the rope which…oddly enough worked, "bleh, finally." he mumbled as he removed the evil robe from the girl and took off the cloth from her mouth. "You okay?" He asked while he checked for any wounds, which meant that he looked only where skin shown. The girl only nodded before hugging the blonde and started to cry.

"T-th-thank you." The girl cried out as he just hugged her hero tighter, making his face turn a little blue, Ender wished he had a camera at that moment.

"I-I-it's okay, b-b-ut I can't breathe." The blonde said as tried to breathe. Finally releasing her grip on the little hero he smiled and rubbed the back of his head. "It was no problem, I can't be Hokage if I don't help those in need." he said before he gave her his 'fox grin' which made the little girl blush. One thought ran through the angel's head and that word was 'crush' when he saw her reaction. "Oh I almost forgot, I'm Naruto!"

"H-h-hinata." Hinata stuttered out, still shaken from her ordeal, "th-thank you again, Na-naruto-kun." she poked her fingers together as he called the fox container '-kun'.

"HINATA!!" The Hyuga head shouted as he, his wife, and his twin brother, and some other branch members. Quickly Naruto looked towards the incorporeal angel for advice on what to do.

"In the words of a wise man. . . LET'S GET THE HELL OUT OF DODGE!!" Ender shouted out and turned to run, Naruto not to far behind since he knew what happened to him when there was a crowd running towards him. The angel let his charge past him as he run backwards to make sure they wouldn't be followed. "Keep running little man, don't stop till we're home!" He yelled out.

Back with Hyuga family, little Hinata was hugging her mother who hugged her daughter back, crying in joy to have her baby back. They had taken the Cloud ninja delegate to the Interrogation center to learn everything he had planned and who was with him on this attempted kidnapping. "Are you alright little one?" asked Taki Hyuga, the mother of the little girl (A/N: So I lack originality), her blue hair framing her face and looking like the adult version of the child.

"Hai Kaa-san, I am thanks to Naruto-kun." The heiress manage to say without stuttering. The name caused everyone who heard it to stiffen, course it went unnoticed by the little heiress as she yawned with her eyes half closed.

"Come on little one, lets get you to bed." Her mother said gently as she picked her daughter up who soon fell asleep against her shoulder. Turning to her husband she took on the cold Hyuga façade, "I believe we have made a mistake on our view of the Uzumaki child." she said in an emotionless tone of voice, in which her husband nodded in agreement. "I want a team of female branch members to look into the living arrangement of him. If I recall he was forced to have his own place due to the orphanage kicking him out. I think he'll handle it better if he finds women there instead of men in his home." she stated.

"Agreed, brother," the head of the branch family stood at attention, "make it happen, I want them in the council room by mourning to give me a full report on what they found."

"Hai brother."

* * *

Ender could only groan as he covered a side of his face with his hand as he looked at the apartment, or what was left of it. "And I thought it was bad before." he mumbled out as he looked over the damage through the door way, which there wasn't a door anymore to begin with. This time nothing was spared; all the stuffing of every pillow was torn out. More red paint marked the walls of the rooms with vulgar words it was used to make. The bathroom looked like a bomb hit it, which there were remains of an explosive tag and kunai for proof of it. He could only groan as he saw the kid not even phased by the damage around them. '_Even a demon wouldn't do this much to a little kid_' he frowned when Naruto found a slightly useable fabric and fell asleep on the floor. The angel could do nothing except sit on the ground and lean his back to the wall and watch over the child. '_This is going to be harder than I originally thought_'.

* * *

Three Hyuga women carefully made their way into the apartment, surprised to see that what was left of the door just outside the place. They only frowned when they saw the apartment itself "Is this where a child supposed to live?" One asked as she looked through the kitchen, seeing all the spoiled food and refrigerator all on the ground, she thought she saw a rat walking away with a spoil piece of beef.

"How long has this been going on?" Another said as she looked over the paint on the walls and what they said, the Hyuga mask starting to creak on all of the women as they saw all the furniture has been destroyed, and the child was heavily sleeping on the floor with a torn sheet that barely covered his upper body; none of them were aware of the angel watching their actions closely, ready to strike if they try anything against the boy. Just as they turn to leave, the leader of the group looked closely at one part of the wall and notice how the paint had drip down it. Moving to the wall she saw the drip mark having a straight edge to it. Pressing against hard one side of the wall, it opened up to a small hole big enough for an adult to crawl through. All three women nodded to each other and crawled through the hole, while the angel simply walked through it.

They were all shocked at what they saw, the tunnel lead them into a room that seemed to be untouched by anything at all. In front of them was a painted tree, though it was poorly done since it looked like it was done by a four year old. There were old pictures placed on it too, some burnt, other torn, and some looked warped from water. Over each picture where words that were barely legible like 'Kaa-san', 'Obaa-san', Ojiji-san' and the names go on. "Is this…a family tree?" The leader asked as she looked over the rest of the room. There were more pictures on the ground, yet none of himself. Then she noticed some drawings, all of them having the same two features; a small blonde hair child, and some red haired person, the sex of the red head not able to be determined. '_Some kind of imaginary friend?_' she thought to herself as held one of the pictures to get a better look at it before putting it back. She then turned to see her sister silently crying as he looked at a broken ninja doll her hands. "Reyna, what is it?" she asked softly as the third member of the group turned to see what was going on.

"M-my….my son broke this a few months back…" Reyna whispered out as she fingered the doll with its broken arm and missing foot. At this the other three went wide eyed and looked at all the toys and dolls in the room. Each one of them were broken are ruined in some form, yet they looked clean or in the process of being cleaned up. "He…he must go through garbage…just to get some toys…and a the pictures." that was all she was able to say before her mask of coldness broke and fell to the ground crying out her eyes. Soon the other two were crying silently with their heads down, unable to accept to the truth how badly this child was treated.

Ender just couldn't take it and left the room and looked over Naruto ". . .you were at your limit weren't you?" he whispered gently as looked towards the ceiling '_was I right not taking you to the light-plain?_'

* * *

(1) Chibi-jutsu the user turns into a small chibi with large eyes, not a true jutsu but no one can escape it unless they have they have luck on their side

(2) I know it's a star war reference...so sue me

* * *

R&R please 


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